Template:Did you know nominations/Larry Donovan (bridge jumper)

From blackwiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Yoninah (talk) 13:46, 18 October 2016 (UTC)

Larry Donovan (bridge jumper)

  • ... that Larry Donovan's attempt to leap from the Brooklyn Bridge in 1886 was foiled when his mother alerted police? Source: "But [his mother] wasn't at home. She was down at the police station, tipping off the cops regarding her son's shenanigans." source

Created/expanded by Stevage (talk). Self-nominated at 12:18, 18 September 2016 (UTC).

  • I think it's punchier to omit detail and just have the foiling mom:
ALT1 ... that Larry Donovan's first attempt to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge was foiled by his mother? Source: "But [his mother] wasn't at home. She was down at the police station, tipping off the cops regarding her son's shenanigans." source
EEng 02:02, 19 September 2016 (UTC)
I like it. Although out of context I now realise it sounds like a suicide attempt. How about:
ALT2 ... that daredevil Larry Donovan's second attempt to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge was foiled by his mother?
ALT3 ... that daredevil Larry Donovan's second attempt to be the first to jumpdive from the Brooklyn Bridge was foiled by his mother?
Stevage 03:22, 19 September 2016 (UTC)
  • Definitely ALT2. EEng 03:43, 19 September 2016 (UTC)
On closer reading of the sources, this was actually his second jump, not his first. Oops. Changed "initial" to "second" above. Stevage 05:52, 19 September 2016 (UTC)
Now I like ALT3. Second attempt to be the first + mother is pretty funny, I think. EEng 05:57, 19 September 2016 (UTC) ... or ...
ALT4 ... that daredevil Larry Donovan's mother foiled his second attempt to be the first to jumpdive from the Brooklyn Bridge?
After even more research, I think this second jump was his planned attempt to be the first person to dive headfirst off it. Stevage 06:04, 21 September 2016 (UTC)
Um, I think we better see the supporting quotes. EEng 06:14, 21 September 2016 (UTC)
...he sent word around to the newspaper officers that he was going to dive from the Brooklyn Bridge. He made elaboration preparations...He said he had no intention of diving from the bridge, but had pretended to do so in order to get some free advertising. Justice Duffy didn't believe it..." [1] (Note that they, and virtually all other articles, use "jump", "drop" or "leap" to mean a foot-first jump.) Stevage 00:26, 23 September 2016 (UTC)
  • Well, I don't think the bits you quote fully support ALT4, but while looking through the source I found something which, I hope you will agree, makes a much better hook than any we have so far:
ALT5 ... that after he died, daredevil Larry Donovan's mother said, "I told him that jumping off bridges was a poor way of earning a living"? Source: 'Michael George Degnan and his wife, the parents of the dead bridge jumper... "When Larry first jumped from the Brooklyn Bridge," Mrs. Degnan said,"...I told him that jumping off bridges was a poor way of earning a living, and that it would be better for him to go back to his work as a pressman."' [2]
Would be good for the last slot.
P.S. Unless you're accessing a source via an account you got through The Wikipedia Library (or a similar program which asks that you acknowledge the service that donated the access) it's completely unnecessary, and really quite distracting, to use the via parameter in citations. I suggest you remove them. EEng 02:24, 23 September 2016 (UTC)
P.P.S. I started a bit of copyediting, and before I knew it I'd done much more. I hope it wasn't too much, too quickly. Feel free to revert if you want, esp. the format changes at the end. EEng 03:23, 23 September 2016 (UTC)
I like it! (I didn't know that about the "via" parameter - it was in the template so I used it.) Stevage 12:30, 25 September 2016 (UTC)
  • Symbol confirmed.svg This article is new enough and long enough. The ALT5 hook fact is cited inline, the article is neutral, and I detected no copyright issues. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 19:26, 9 October 2016 (UTC)