Template:Did you know nominations/Alex B. Novikoff

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The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: rejected by Allen3 talk 17:18, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
Insufficient progress toward resolving outstanding issues

Alex B. Novikoff

  • ... that biologist Alex B. Novikoff was dismissed from University of Vermont College of Medicine due to McCarthyism, and the university awarded him an honorary doctorate after thirty years as an apology?

Created by Chhandama (talk). Self nominated at 14:50, 12 November 2013 (UTC).

  • Symbol confirmed.svg Article created two days ago, easily long enough, and well sourced. Deceased since 1987, so no BLP issues. The hook's fact is cited to The New York Times and The Vermont Historical Society. The latter source mentions McCarthyism as a retrospective piece, though the two other contemporary sources from the 1950s cited to the prose in the body referring to this fact don't explicitly use that term. The lead, meanwhile, uses marxism. Not particularly an issue, and as it is I think this nomination meets the DYK criteria, but I'm wondering if an alt hook could be made out of all that?
ALT1 : ... that biologist Alex B. Novikoff was dismissed from the University of Vermont College of Medicine due to Marxism, but was awarded an honorary doctorate thirty years later as an apology? Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 14:12, 13 November 2013 (UTC)
Totally agreeable. Chhandama (talk) 03:42, 19 November 2013 (UTC)
  • Symbol possible vote.svg I'm concerned that some of the phrasing in this article is too close to that of its sources. Compare for example "ultimatum that he either return to Washington to name names or risk dismissal" with "ultimatum that he either return to Washington and name names or risk dismissal". Nikkimaria (talk) 06:25, 21 November 2013 (UTC)
  • Presentation improved. Chhandama (talk) 05:15, 26 November 2013 (UTC)
  • Okay, but more work needs to be done on paraphrasing in this article. It's not enough to simply change a few words around. To give an example, "known for his contributions to the discoveries of cell organelles...He is remembered to the general public as a victim of McCarthyism during the American anti-communist movement of the mid-20th century" remains quite similar in phrasing and structure to "known foremost for his contributions to the discovery and characterization of several cell organelles...Among a wider audience, he is notable as a victim of the excesses of the anti-communist movement in mid-20th-century America". Nikkimaria (talk) 23:00, 3 December 2013 (UTC)
  • Still some reworking needed - for example, "stratification of junior and senior faculty" is a direct quote from the source, while "employed by the US Army after the war, in 1948, to analyse two films about enzyme and carbohydrate metabolism. Even then doubt about his loyalty resurfaced and his appointment was terminated" is quite similar to "in 1948, Novikoff was hired by the U.S. Army to consult on two films about enzymes and carbohydrate metabolism. Again, questions about his "loyalty" surfaced and... his appointment was terminated". Furthermore, some of the already-reworded sections are in need of significant copy-editing. Nikkimaria (talk) 06:07, 16 December 2013 (UTC)
  • Symbol delete vote.svg It's been over two weeks, and Chhandama was pinged on this issue prior to the most recent Wikipedia edit on December 22. Given the persistent close paraphrasing issues, I'm closing this. BlueMoonset (talk) 16:19, 1 January 2014 (UTC)